I use an igoogle page as my internet home page, and one of the boxes I have commonly used is a countdown to an event. This started as a countdown to moving to China 2 years ago, so I named it "the world and beyond". Thinking of it as a countdown to making an impact in a different part of the world, and making an impact that will last beyond when the world will last. That countdown finhished and I came to China. It has counted down to a few different things these past two years, most recently to my last day of school, which was June 12.
I had a special anticipation leading up to the last day of school. First, it signified the beginning of my parent’s trip to China. But perhaps more than that, I was anticipating the life change that would come from no longer being with my company. I tried really hard (and I think successfully) to do by best through the end and keep a positive attitude about what I was doing. Someone asked me several weeks ago how I was doing saying goodbye to the school. As I thought about that question, I realized that the answer was woven throughout the year. It was almost like I spent the whole school year saying goodbye in small pieces. By the time the end was drawing near, I was just ready to be done.
I had watched my countdown day by day… “3 months 3 days, 3 months 2 days… etc”. It finally got here and I have loved every minute of it. I can’t imagine anything I would have done differently for my parent’s time here. It has been amazing. I’m looking forward to going back to the states and I’m looking forward to coming back to China in the fall, but both of these are not taking away from just enjoying life right where I am right now. I don’t want to live a life of countdowns, where I can’t wait for the next thing to happen. Yes, I want to be looking forward to whatever He has for me next, but I want to enjoy where He has me know. I want to have an attitude that is open to taking in the full life that I am currently experiencing.
I noticed my countdown box again today, not because it was counting down, but because of the message it was sharing. It simply said, “Give me one pure and holy passion.” I’m sure when I set up the box 4 months ago I told it to say that, but I have long since forgotten that programming. The box is still titled “the world and beyond”. I still want to think about my desire to make in impact on this world and an impact that will last beyond this world, but I don’t want that to be founded in countdowns, but in living each moment with one pure and holy passion.
For anyone who doesn’t know, that is the line from the following song…
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after You
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty pale and poor
Compared to knowing you …
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
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